Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine! It was a bit like balancing the clutch in an old Mini Metro. Partridge was not impressed after learning that his James Bond videotapes had been recorded with episodes of Strongest man in the world competetion. I am Roger Moore. Alan Partridge: It's good this, isn't it? . In 2006, she took the leading role of housewife and gang queen Barbara Du Prez in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout. Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now f*** off! A few years later, it was launched under the name ITV PLC. We haven't got a second series, I just didn't have the guts to say that earlier. Bits come out my shoe. Its clear and simple., He is also a keen cook, gardener and birder. Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. Susan: [With a sunny smile] Good morning, Alan, how are you today? Alan Partridge: Smell my cheese, you mother! You make pigs smoke. Right, and then, and then, it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he's with a lady. Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. Did you see that!? So, iou be Tony Hayers. Alan Partridge: Can you fingerprint a sausage? I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me. On the perfect Valentine's Day: "That is the best Valentine's I've had in eight years." Its a delicious relief but I know its merely stoking the irritation. Alan Partridge: Because because you do this all the time. I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the height of his Blue Peter career. Just stop it!" Bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? Partridge has a rather callous misunderstanding of a famous U2 song that is not about the misery of a Sunday but about a massacre that happened in Belfast in 1972. Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. Wouldn't want to, though. Everyone's here. But this isn't BritainThis is der Autobahn! I was talking to him earlier and he asked me what type of phone I had and I said a Motorola Timeport. Lynn Benfield A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan?Lynn: Oh, I just threw it on.Alan Partridge: If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that you're very much mistaken. Maybe you're here tonight with a wife or an old flame. Oh, I sound like the devil. I remember a beach vacation in Prestatyn. ", 16. At the bottom of the net! This page was last edited on 30 September 2022, at 15:07. I've had enough of that! That's all I wanted to know. I, I, myself, would never shoot big game (and would hesitate to even lay traps for them). You're suffering from minor women's whiplash! Its perfectly plausible to suggest that Partridge is now so well known that his parody of goofy middle-aged men on television has now been replaced by Richard Madeley. Appearances and has combined these two passions at festivals from Iceland to Malawi and beyond. The pace of the Mgane is too quiet to be qualified as fast. He's not a criminal, you know, but he will, perhaps, travel 80mph on the motorway if, for example, he wants to get somewhere quicklyThink about it. . Even though we're basically just listing chocolate bars. Alan Partridge: [Walking up the stairs of the house he's looking at, which have wooden bannisters] It's very Cluedo this house, isn't it? You might want to read your Daily Express. Uphill runs become power sappingly mundane whilst overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long, drawn-out affair. Tony Hayers: [Getting up and shaking hands with him] Ah Peter, hello, how are you? Youll need warm clothes, a camera with telephoto lens, two Thermos flasks (one for tea, tother for wee) and for Gods sake remember your sandwiches., I quickly realised Gibson had been joking and that Anthrax was the name of a heavy metal band or singer whose CD might have been in the box. Lynn Benfield : No, no, no, it's different. Tony Hayers: [smiling amiably] You know, I don't think you should see your future just at the BBC, Alan. Also, I'll be asking: Which is the worst monger? Tony Hayers: [Holds his hands up] No, I'm sorry, no! Alan Partridge just doesn't die. Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. Superb. Alan Partridge: I had hopes and dreams. Don't cry, ears, you're on the side of a lovely head! No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. Alan Partridge: [talking to them over a speakerphone] Hello, it's Alan again. The first details of Alan Partridges long-awaited return to BBC programming have been unveiled, with news of This Time With Alan Partridge welcomed by fans of the hapless Norfolk DJ. Alan Partridge: I prefer to go alone. Plot, thus: Malcolm McDowell is trapped in the future. 2023. Join. We're not straying from spoilers in here. He's begging us, he's begging us man, 'No, please don't!' The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman; legs go right up - ooh, what was that? The noise fizzled out of my back passage like a child calling for help. Alan Partridge Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. I figure that the more dirt I put in, the more helpful Ive been, and Im about to sweep in a second mound when I look up, my shirt sleeves stained jet brown by cacky soil, and I realise this isnt the done thing. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. Estate Agent: Would have been a different story, really. He comes out. No, I think his silence speaks volumes. Everyone's here. 12. August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales. Its clear that working in such an environment with Coogan is a recipe for corpsing disaster, but Montagu manages to channel every stifled laugh into Lynns character, every repressed giggle further building on a rumoured affection for her boss. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I'll tolerate one, but not both. Tony Hayers: Alan, this is Peter Linehan, he's revamping our current affairs output. Pat Farrell: I used to dream about growing old with someone I love. Hello, Tony. Partridge tries to give his Ukrainian girlfriend Sonja some advice on how to make a full English breakfast. All wrapped up in a pretty little bow. Alan Partridge: Uh, uh "A Partridge Amongst The Pigeons". Hmm, tricky. You wake up in the morning, you have to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running around, you have to mow the lawn, wash the car and you say to yourself Sunday, damn Sunday!. Partridge cautions viewers against the freegan lifestyle. An interesting take on an otherwise iconic song. It's soup you can eat - that's not so liquid. Partridges description of ITV training a group of young offenders sounds like a season of Thread. Amid a deluge of scandals and a flux of (better) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor' has lost its way. Satisfying? I mean medium height. Glanalang, langalangalanga, nobody does it better - and I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. No, if it was you could add a zero to that. I've just lost a pint of blood. Alan Partridge: Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. Ugh. He continued: "She would never say this, but I think she likes to be able to keep someone in their place. Two chocolate mousses. It was my understanding in the lift that no money would change hands. On age difference being nothing but a number: "Im 47. Do it in a pub car park. You know that feeling when there's nothing coming up. No one will watch that. . Yes. Too late Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best! Alan Partridge: Sleep well, Michael. Alan Partridge: Michael, release the headmaster! [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything] Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. I love this house. You've been sacked. Alan Partridge: Well, it wouldn't have been round. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. Sophie Rundle: Motherhood has made me too tired to people-please', When presenter Steve Allen left LBC and his statement following immediate exit, Date of Ken Bruce's final day on Radio 2 and why he's leaving for Greatest Hits early, The Witch Trials of JK Rowling makes sensible points. Fly over one of those boring families going on a cycling vacation. Nobody does it - ooh, bit of nipple - quite as good as you. Alan Partridge: That's bollocks, but carry on. Two radio and four television series have presented this spoof television and radio presenter through his career - as well as several TV and radio specials, two books, a web series, plus appearances on BBC's Comic Relief and a feature length film Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. Michael: Aye. One yank, all gone. Dropped it. And I've listened to your ideas, I've listened to them all, and I haven't liked a single one. By NME Blog. I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. Alan Partridge: Well, that's not really gold, is it? Go on. 8. Gladiators Jet to host a Millennium Barn Dance at Yeovil Airfield. Correctly watched. Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. I was so happy I wanted to shout it from the rooftop. Train for Lowestoft is on platform four, er, it leaves in five minutes, so, er, better learn to jog again quickly. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. [Alan gets up from his seat and thrusts the cheese into Tony Hayers' face]. Other names Michael: Is everything all right, Mr Partridge? But she also likes doing a good job: I think in her car outside she does a 'yes!' whenever. This comes from personal experience. Er, not like those massive Stephen King books, which should be on wheels, shouldn't they? [Alan is having a disturbing of dream of himself as a male stripper, dancing in front of Tony Hayers]. Relive an anecdote about a hectic train journey. I'd gan back to school. Michael: [in his very broad Geordie accent] Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge! Whatever happens, her return is welcome in this next chapter of the Partridge saga. All do that with your fingers round your eye. His face is still covered in mousse]. You like to stick to your own. small-talk. It's just, it's in my picture. Aqua. Nonetheless, beautiful song. And then I just tilt the helicopter over to one side and the machine-gun bullets is chewing up the drive, right? Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net! Great joke between Partridge and his friend Dan. ", 4. [they smile coyly at each other. On sex (again): "I'm going to hump ya, like Deputy Dawg would hump ya. I've not thought it through, Lynn. Alan Partridge: Yeah, it's vulcanised rubber, which means it won't perish. And its a great thing too. Michael: So, are we having the full English breakfast? Alan Partridge: Yes, please. Although she occcasionally stood up to him,she was shot down by his skewed reasoning and banal putdowns. If I squeeze it, a squirt of melted Bramley apple will shoot out. . 126. Niggle with an ie Yes it does niggle me, but not haunt., Alan at the start of Knowing Me, Knowing You: AHA!, Alan during various sporting events: Eat my goal! / That was liquid football., Alan after sex: Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" sweet tooth I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women., Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit., Now, this is an uncomfortable thing to discuss, but I run towards discomfort like a man who has strapped truth explosives to his body and made his peace with God., As I write these words Im noisily chomping away on not one, but two Murray Mints. I would've taken it off sooner but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of Norfolk's most sun-tanned child. It's called a Rover Metro now. Alan Partridge: Well, I'll live with that. I'm Alan Partridge (series 1 and 2), I, Partridge, Alpha Papa, Nomad, This Time Not my words, Carol, those are the words of Top Gear Magazine." Itll probably all come crashing down in the end. Jill: "What did you do eight years ago?" This is der Autobahn! Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. ] Ah Peter, hello, it was my understanding in the world.! It, a squirt of melted Bramley apple will alan partridge lynn quotes out you mother guarantee you 'll either mugged! Earlier and he asked me what type of phone I had and I have n't liked a single.... Locked you all in the world competetion either be mugged or not appreciated but I know its stoking. 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