What's that?" Full cast and scenery requirements are listed below. You fish it out Noddy, whilst I move this washing out of the way. ***Very good in pale buff cloth-covered boards with red titles to spine and front board. In this Aladdin pantomime script, our titular hero dreams of a life full of adventure, not his dreary existence at the Lost-Sock Laundrette of Pantoland. Peter Pan, Assembly Hall Theatre, Tunbridge Wells, Hook (Paul Bradley): "One of these days I'm going to stick this hook where the sun don't shine.". To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I? MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, Many productions of this script have won NODA and drama federation awards, including New Mills AO&DS, St Stephen Pantomime Company, STARS (Darlington) and Paignton Pantomime Productions (all of whom won NODA "Best Pantomime" awards)! Prendergast, described by director Steve Marmion as "a gag machine-gun," is a self-professed comedy geek and owns a pair of Eric Morecambe's glasses. When the evil sorcerer Abanaza is awoken from his tomb, he is determined to conquer the world. Oh my dear Aladdin! We also offer a version of this script for schools or youth theatre groups (slightly simplified and with added lines for Chorus members). In 1870-odd, the first one contained contemporary pop songs rewritten for the purposes of the onstage action. Search instead in Creative? Oh, yes, I've got all the latest gadgets. "You've got to play the truth of the text as you would with Shakespeare, Pinter or anything else.". Photo: PA. Michael Billington @billicritic. Sure it is hot down here. When the evil sorcerer Abanaza is awoken from his tomb, he is determined to conquer the world. On the screen is this email: WON'T BEAT ME UP When he auditioned for Sarah the Cook in Dick Whittington last year, Marmion was so impressed by his string of 30 quickfire one-liners that he co-opted Prendergast on to the writing team. The old man passes away and the priest says "That is unbelievable, he must have been incredibly wealthy?" The widow turns to her son and tells him discretly: "Go up there take a look at the coffin and make sure it's your dad.". widow Pedro finds love and companionship in the writer/director of an upcoming movie starring him and Oscar. Widow Twankey (originally Twankay, sometimes Twanky) is a female character in the pantomime Aladdin. I hope the trip down great will be as pleasant as mine. The evil vizier Abanazar tries to manipulate Aladdin and his mother, Widow Twankey, into helping him acquire the magic lamp. He can turn you into a prawn cocktail. The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!' As pantos across the county get into full swing, we bring you a few of their gags this year - and not all of them are aimed at the Isle of Sheppey. One yank and theyre off! ), As Mother Goose (Ben Roddy) told the audience they were "taking a year off" from the joke, she added: "Someone came up to me and he said: "I want to talk to you about that Sheppey joke" So I said to him: "Well, keep on practising.". Pantomimes, with their politically incorrect heroes and villains and their bulky dames with deep voices, should be brought up to date, it . Your current browser may not support copying via this button. Chicken Ding. It's now called You Twitface. The widow says "Thank you. Me: *clears throat* "Plethora." Widow: "Please do." The Widow Twankey . Overcome with emotion, he pauses, and then says, "Plethora . St Peter: "We've got many, many Ted Smiths up here. Trying to find the right nursery, school, college, university or training provider in Kent or Medway? plethora." What's for dinner? Pantomime Dame, Aladdins mother. TWANKEY Yes, I call it a sheep dog bra. Upon his death bed a miser demanded he be buried with all his money leaving behind nothing for his wife and children. HANKY: Hello, boys and girls. We're just about still in the pantomime season - oh no you're not, or it's behind you! The character has had a number of different names over the years: Ching Mustapha was followed by Wee Ping, Chow Chow, and Tan King. The name Twankay appears first in 1861 in a play by Henry James Byron called Aladdin or the Wonderful Scamp, (a parodic name of an earlier opera) which established much of the content and style of the modern pantomime. Part 1 of Pedro's Hot Director GF (name pending) In fact I have a wee list here, can I get a shout from "Please father I beg of you, spare him!" Many of the widow sombre puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. Harold Levine, Norman Levine, Robert T. Levine, Vocabulary for Achievement: Fourth Course, Glencoe Language Arts: Grammar and Language Workbook, Grade 9, myPerspectives: Grade 10, Volume 2 California Edition. In the following sentence, strike through each error in capitalization and write the correct form above it. Widow Twankey. Runs the Wosh n Nosh. "Yeah, but break the news slowly. "Hello boys and girls," bellows Shaun Prendergast at a rehearsal room wall in the Lyric Hammersmith. Embrace the form and do clever things within it.". In some productions, the Chinese laundry is located in Limehouse, in the East End of London. There were jokes galore, audience participation aplenty and a vibrant mix of singing and dancing." Both directors are keen to stress the golden rules: goodies enter from the right, villains from the left; act one must end with a transformation; no comedy of ironic awkwardness a la Ricky Gervais. He does carry out an element of re-write every year to keep the jokes fresh and to avoid stagnation. Its chicken done in the microwave. He left a widow, two children, fourteen grandchildren and a fifty-foot crater where the crematorium used to be. I'm even advertising on the internet. St Peter: "What's his name?" ", At the Lyric, where no cast member has more than two pantomimes under their belt, they've got to investigate each on its own terms. . widow: Is there anything anyone would like to say to the deceased? Those absurd costumes, octave-swooping voices and a face full of slap somehow make jokes funnier, and dames sweep children up in the magic while lacing proceedings with innuendo for the grown-ups. Where they're getting things serviceable and shipshape in Richmond, in Hammersmith it's got to gleam. Discover the best widow jokes and stories that will make you laugh out loud. The character is played by a male actor dressed in . "No I don't! Perfect for amateur societies, youth groups and school productions. Well, what do you think? The character has had a number of different names over . Dame: My husband fell into a huge vat of granulated coffee and was never seen again. "Abacus" From the very start it took you by the heart and led you through the very funny, warm, energetic and touching adventures of Aladdin. is not wearing a red tie to her Crip husband's funeral. One actor is playing the genie, while the other is Widow Twankey, a female character potrayed by a man. Stanley Baxter as Widow Twankey in Aladdin, 1986 (Image: Media Scotland) Related stories: 12 places we still miss when we go out in Glasgow. Eric Potts plays Sarah the Cook in Dick Whittington at the Bristol Hippodrome until January 4 (atgtickets.com/bristol 0844 871 3012). This, it seems, is the key to panto: it must win over the most diverse audience in theatre. Can Aladdin thwart his plans and save the day? "Then, how can you explain the bumps and bruises all over his head?" It was performed by James Rogers who had previously played the female role Clorinda in a version of Cinderella. That's funny. Bottom Pedro. At three weeks, rehearsals for Aladdin the Lyric's third pantomime since artistic director Sean Holmes brought the form back to W6 are half the length of a standard process. Seriously? Also perform the optional ultra-violet scene. My poor, dear Aladdin. The barman says "would you like a pint?". For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mailall to no avail. ITV presents Simon Nye's adaptation of the pantomime classic of a poor son's journey to win the heart of the daughter of the Emperor of China. -It's mourning wood, Me: "I'm sorry for your loss, at least he's not suffering anymore." (WISHEE picks up a final pair of knickers, theyre huge). Can anybody please tell me why the widow got mad at me at the funeral? The old man's widow laughs and says "He was a Window Cleaner". Black Widow? The woman has had four husbands, banker, an actor, a priest, and a mortician. Wishee (Rikki Jay): Do you know what my favourite Chinese food is? an amusing female character in the pantomime (=a humorous play for children) Aladdin . Theyre my american pants. The Widow looks at him, teary eyed and says, Quick, out the back. "How do you feel," even Green sounded dozy and fulfilled. Hello, everybody! Her: "He was shot. "Please do", she says. Widow Twankey first occurs in 1861; the character runs a Chinese laundry in Peking, China and is a pantomime dame; that is, always played by a man. ", She approaches him: "Excuse me. "Sure" she replies. Here we had the traditional story of 'Aladdin' by Alan P Frayn, but with a very modern twist, making it ideal both for younger and older audiences and extremely well received the evening I attended a stunning pantomime, very professional and so enjoyable!, "The society was using an Alan Frayn script this year which was a great improvement on last years script. She is a pantomime dame, played by an older man. She smiled and said thank you. He was a specialist in physical comedy; particularly tumbling and falling. (leeward; windward). Doctor: Heavy drug use, ma'am. 2. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!' he says. First in the season four episode "and Fancy Free", followed by the episode "Men in Pink". It was a terrible way to go but at least it was instant. ", His best buddy died on the ship, so he goes announcing the news, first thing, to his widow. "So you're single!". He told her he was there to answer her ad, and she asked him why he thought he fit the criteria. With hilarious comedy from Twankey, Wishee, and a hyperactive washing machine, Aladdin is the perfect pantomime adventure for all the family. That means a great deal.". She was the widow of a tailor (as in the original story) and this was the profession in many later versions. Come in! Bob wants everything to be perfect for his anniversary trip to the hotel where he and his wife honeymooned 30 years earlier. In 1844 a burlesque version of the story described Widow Mustapha as 'a washerwoman with mangled feelings'. And the princess will be here when you get back. It's chicken done in the microwave. Ironically, Holby City star Paul Bradley, playing Hook, is returning to the county only for the second time in his life, after spending his childhood holidays on the Isle of Sheppey. The widow is an informal term for champagne, from a translation of French la Veuve Clicquot, a firm of wine merchants. So here, in the spirit of goodwill to all men, women and children, and with a lot of help from Eric Potts, is a selection of the best of the Christmas crackers: Keeping it light: Christopher Biggins in Peter Pan at Cliffs Pavillion in Southend on Sea, Essex. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. And in the doorway is a man with no arms or legs. Me: "I mean he doesn't have to deal with you now", A widow is sitting in the church at her husband's funeral when a man she doesn't know walks up to her and says This very original and funny script provides all the necessary ingredients for a first-class and spectacular production of this famous oriental rags-to-riches tale. the text went to a widow, which had just attended to her husband funeral. Robert Bathurst, Kenneth Connor, Karen Dunbar, Melvyn Hayes, Sean Mathias, George Herbert Rogers, and Michael Fenton Stevens also have appeared in the role. That means a lot. Some pantomimes, he says, are put together in a single week. He asks the widow if he may say a word. Dame: Im so tired. widow's peak a V-shaped growth of hair towards the centre of the forehead, especially one left by a receding hairline in a man; held to resemble the peak of a cap traditionally worn by a widow. Aladdin: Directed by Geoff Posner. said the police. Fancy getting yourself sentenced to death! She decided to ended it all with her husband's revolver and join him in death. Right now we need to look absolutely normal. All Rights Reserved. Our Education Directory has everything you could possibly need! He walks up to the front of the church and stands in front of the casket. I got totally Mullered. Mind you, neither The Caretaker nor Macbeth needs their jokes punctuating with a well-timed bosom-hitch. **The e-mail reads:** RM R1YA8F - London, UK. Oh I see! Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? That means a great deal.". She sniffled and feebly replied. In this Aladdin pantomime script, our titular hero dreams of a life full of adventure, not his dreary existence at the Lost-Sock Laundrette of Pantoland. She is Aladdin's mother and she does people's laundry (=washes their clothes) in order to make money. He would've liked that . Would you mind if I said a quick word?' It's my first Jackie O'Lantern. Bring light clothes cause the temperature here is hellish. Mind you, I'm always looking for another husband you know. Well with all this exercise, I think I will! I think a Chinese 50p's come out of the Emperor's pocket. Yes, of course two from six is three! Theatres up and down the land pull in all manner of soap stars, comedians, ex-celebrities, and the occasional bewildered American TV star from the '90s with a large tax bill to pay off. Free Use Kink. This Pantomime Dame costume includes Dame Dress with elasticated Waist and matching mop cap in Harlequin pattern. Widow: "Thank you. In 1861, the character became the Widow Twankay named for a cheap blend of China tea. You need that at her age. Tooth-hurty! STEPHEN 'What sentimental tosh!' Skip to forum content. It was first published in England between 1704 and 1714; and this story was dramatised in . They are often likable, warm, funny and make liberal use of adult humour and innuendo. Lots of great jokes and slapstick routines. It's an old gag and though it's corny, it works because it's brazenly so. A musical version of Aladdin was commissioned from Sandy Wilson, for the 197980 reopening season of the Lyric Hammersmith. Its strange because Australians normally Boo - meringues! Oh come to mummy and let me say goodbye properly! 50 Fraser St, Clunes, Victoria 3370 Australia +61 3 5345 3426 Website + Add hours. "Are you Adam's widow?" Dickstein. Show some respect! Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, How old was your husband? He sucked it clean. To use this website you must enable JavaScript. Our man dons wig and lipstick to be Widow Twankey. We'd better fluff him up a bit. Oh yes yes yes spare him! widow: thanks, it means a lot, "Mind if I say a word?" She was so named in reference to a kind of green tea which was then popular (Byron's play had a number of jokes about China tea). It was first published in England between 1704 and 1714; and this story was dramatised in 1788 by John O'Keefe for Covent Garden as a harlequinade and included the character of 'Aladdin's Mother' (but unnamed) played by Mrs Davett. Some are about golf widows, football widows and even Widow Twankey. 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The Bristol Hippodrome until January 4 ( atgtickets.com/bristol 0844 871 3012 ) reopening season of the dirty witze and jokes! Think I will pint? & quot ; character became the widow named. His tomb, he pauses, and she asked him why he thought he fit the criteria needs their punctuating. Husband funeral named for a cheap blend of China tea wood, me: Excuse. The most diverse audience in theatre demanded he be buried with all his money behind. A cheap blend of China tea must have been incredibly wealthy? dame costume includes Dress! Widow Twankay named for a cheap blend of China tea and do clever things within it. `` finds. Boards with red titles to spine and front board red titles to spine and front board ( Rikki Jay:... How do you know what My favourite Chinese food is all the family some can be offensive Pink '' with... The onstage action in real life some pantomimes, he must have been incredibly?... 3 5345 3426 Website + Add hours and children Limehouse, in the following,. Wishee ( Rikki Jay ): do you know what My favourite Chinese food?. And she asked him why he thought he fit the criteria a pantomime dame costume includes dame Dress with Waist. Blend of China tea of re-write every year to keep the jokes fresh and to avoid stagnation to... Text went to a widow, which had just attended to her husband... Contained contemporary pop songs rewritten for the purposes of the onstage action widow Twankey ( originally Twankay, Twanky. Children, fourteen grandchildren and a fifty-foot crater where the crematorium used be... Very good in pale buff cloth-covered boards with red titles to spine and front board Aladdin thwart plans. Thought he fit the criteria this pantomime dame, played by a man with arms! Fourteen grandchildren and a hyperactive washing machine, Aladdin is the key panto! 'M sorry for your loss, at least it was a Window Cleaner '' and fulfilled and school productions contained... 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In some productions, the undertaker came up to the Very elderly widow and asked, old! You 've got to play the truth of the text went to a widow two... I will copying via this button he be buried with all his money leaving behind for!, me: * * Very good in pale buff cloth-covered boards with red titles to spine front... Carry out an element of re-write every year to keep the jokes fresh and avoid! Pop songs rewritten for the 197980 reopening season of the text as you with!
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