We had some drinks on his couch and were watching a movie snuggled up together. She is 4 years younger than us, and that makes me think that I am just reading into this, however, I as a former 14 y/o know how they think and I dont always feel as though her intentions are necessarily in the right place. She had her feet in his lap, and they were talking softly. Although your SIL was diagnosed with BPD, your husband still loves her and wants her to be a part of his life. Chile, by the way they are acting he and her both need the side eye with the lips pursed and the stank look. Its cool your husband and sister get along but there are boundaries they shouldnt cross. I respect my brother. Cookie Settings/Do Not Sell My Personal Information. I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. He may be able to take this thing from the right perspective.Always remember, not everything is as it is seen.There could be more truth to the sentence.Also, if you are still not satisfied you can ask for the old family pictures.You can observe how the family reacts to their bonding.Maybe this would actually be normal for them. You feel that your husband loves his sister more than you because he is always too protective of her. I feel almost guilty that I feel so awkward around them considering she is years younger than us, but hear me out and hopefully you'll . "I expected her to be like my parents, but she was just, well, not," Jo said. When she comes to visit she brings her dog. Here are 4 ways his mom affects your marriage, for better or for worse: 1. Sailor Moon. I am not saying that this is healthy, but it is essential to empathize with your husbands experience if you want to get out of the stuck, frustrated, angry place in which you now find yourself. Address it with him once and see how he responds. One night we went to a concert and we came back to his place. reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2013): A If you two vibe well together, such problems wont occur. Of course, you are married so lots of information that relates to him also relates to you. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. If something's going on between siblings, then their romantic relationships can interfere with that. She would stare at us when we were snuggled up. He ticked most of the boxes and was well liked by my mum and friends. Does your boyfriend return all of thisumaffection? 3. She never seemed to go out with her own friends. Ask for help. So, if you and your sibling need that much time together, then Ill make this easy for the both of you. It can change the scheme of things. Now just to clarify, Melinda was 21 years old at the time. I find the stigma and the misconceptions surrounding my diagnosis quite hurtful. You are special, and you are here for a reason. Lots of parents lay their babies on their chests. ", she should say it doesn't matter, she wants to know what they were discussing. I met his parents and I got the impression that they were a tight knit family which I liked. Im sure she wouldnt be divorcing her husband if the marriage had been a bed of roses, and she may need private time with her brother to help her detoxify. He will appreciate it and love you more. If she would walk into a room he would flood her with compliments on her choice of clothing. He pushes me away from him when she walks in the room. If she wanted to lie to you she would say that he had sex with a random girl and cheated on you. He makes disrespectful comments to your face and behind your back. We (me and my husband) have talked briefly about this and she has recently done it for a third time. My boyfriend has a weird relationship with his mom. Background: My [18f] "sister", is my mother's guardian due to her parents passing away when she was 6 years old. My husband and sister are very close. I dont know the exact history between you and her, but if you look inward, and there is any possibility that you yourself grew up with a volatile, unpredictable, intrusive parent or sibling, then this would mean that you are extra sensitive to her probing questions. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Welcome to r/relationship_advice. It is bad enough when a spouse overshares in general, but when the recipient of the information is someone that you believe may use it in inappropriate ways, that is even harder to deal with. Get confessions in your inbox. Honestly I would speak to my sister and ask why she had her feet in his lap and what was she asking him that made him answer like that. Tell him your concerns and botheration. But you have two choices: The first is to continue to stew about it. I've never been a cuddly person towards my family but my brother and sister from my Dad and stepmoms side were like this. It doesn't concern her. That is really weird is there some context that could explain their closeness? My boyfriend (27 years old)and his sister (24 years) have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because- 1. He gets easily offended. That is fine and I know thats how you bond. First, i would check if they are communicating via text and email.. female Uhm, that is bizarre and weird. Not a two-year-old. The last thing you need to be thinking about in a relationship is how weird the boundaries are between your bf and his sister. 2. Thus, they cling to one another in fear of losing one another. When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. or situations/content involving minors. If you have a story or a query to share, write to us at toi.relationships@gmail.com.Don't hesitate as we do not mention names, 10 Sanjeev Kumar movies that redefine versatility, Stunning looks of BB Jodi's Vasanthi Krishnan, Flaunt your toned legs like Samantha Ruth Prabhu, Divas who shedded pregnancy weight in months, Most colourful festivals around the world, Love compatibility of each zodiac sign with Aquarius, Weekly love horoscope: June 27 to July 3, 2022, What the letters in your name from A to F mean, based on numerology, What it means if your name's initial starts with G to L. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. One person even called it creepy. We recently took a family trip to a beach house. I don't understand what's wrong? A Redditor asked readers what she should do about her husband's sister, who appears to have a codependent attachment to her brother. Scott Adams faces 'consequence culture' as U.S. newspapers drop Dilbert, Tom Cruise's 'ditching' of Suri showcased by Judd Apatow's 'co-parenting' joke, ex-Scientology exec says. Learn to understand why your husband behaves in the way he does. The problem isnt in his love for his sister; it has got something to do with your relationship with him; you must work on that in the right direction. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. Treat his sister as your own and love her all the same. The fact that a 14yr old is still doing this is weird as heck to me and your boyfriend should have put a stop to it at some point. Men aren't that bright sometimes in that area. Girl, is this woman sleeping in the same bed with yall? The "parent" partner typically nags, prods, controls, dictates, scolds, and makes most of the decisions. She was holding a glass of wine, just glaring at us. So, if she asks where you guys are considering going on vacation, its going to seem really weird and rude to her, and in general, for him to deflect with Beats me all the time. He gets so irritated that you begin to wonder if you changed overnight. The hell!!??!! If you find yourself searching "my wife" or "my husband is keeping secrets from me," keep reading to find out the signs your spouse is hiding something from you. Make all the arrangements yourself. I would never sit on the couch and put my feet on my sister's husband's lap. I am not jealous, I know what jealousy feels like, this is genuine discomfort and confusion. You should also convey to him your concern during bedtime or while making love. She should not disclose what she overheard when questioning her sister. THIS. reader, benny boy+, writes (27 April 2010): A However, what they don't realize is that if you delete all your calls and texts it looks very odd. He rarely opens his mouth or expresses any interest in talking beyond the odd grunt or "sure, yeah.". I've tried asking and talking to him about this before but he insists this is very normal. No its not weird at all honestly nothing wrong been sexually open minded, No its not wrong at all I found out that my husband was fucking his sister, I wasnt angry because it was family, it turned me on when he was fucking me his dick had been in his sister, I would have been angry if it was a stranger, ime wet now thinking about it, comments please. She is his voice of reason, and go to person for times of trouble. He sees a reason to get offended at the way you talk, the way you look, your sitting position and other similar things. Hes on autopilot, giving her whatever she wants which just leads to more nastiness and meltdowns. You overthink and over assume things in the process. And #2. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). Id just like advice, or a third opinion. It might be so because she is a loner or an introvert and doesnt have a friend circle. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. But it is necessary not to forget that she is his childhood companion and a good friend. You will never be in a mutual, one-on-one relationship with this man. InstagramKim shared a photo of her foot on her Instagram Stories[/caption] HuluKourtney and her husband have been accused of fetishizing her feet on social media[/caption] The Mega . I mean I wrestle with my little brother sometimes but that's not the same as what you're saying LMAO. All you want is for him to understand his role accept his responsibilities towards you as she does for his sister. Answer (1 of 26): My husband developed an allegiance to, and dependence upon his sister and it was a primary cause of our divorce. Secretly meeting up with friends, family, or associates. Never even fought with Jack. If you are the only child of your parents, you might not have experienced sibling relationships this closely before. He says she doesnt have anyone to help her. Either way, I don't see this as something you can change (nor something you should even bring up unless she really starts to wedge herself in-between you). She needs to have a heart to heart talk with him. That said, that he spends more time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual. How Can I Convince My Wife To Give Me Another Chance? Harriette Cole: I forgot about this favor, and I feel like such a loser. Be candid with him. That'll go over incredibly well.. He should be one with you and share everything with you. This Is What It's Like to Fall in Love With Your Brother. It doesnt matter how personal or private. As a result, siblings who're too close to each other can become jealous, bitter, and resentful of their sibling's romantic partner. I need to see some documentation, old photos, or something to prove that they are siblings. My wife found it disgusting and yelled at me for our behavior. He said I told them when you got home they would have to put him up. Joker Game. Mom, sister, etc., will always be right and you, your opinions, your emotional well being, and your privacy will always come in second. If you are concerned that your grandson will see something shocking, please know that he can find whatever he is curious about on his computer or cellphone. 1. - My Husband And His Sister. The answer is yes. In the end, I didn't want to be the person who came between Jack and his family. If he cant respect and honor you in front of her, then he will never respect and honor you. male She said that she hadn't found anyone suitable but gushed (I'm not kidding, gushed,like Meghan Markle over Prince Harry in the engagement interview) over how 'there would never be a guy moresuitedto her than herbrother.' However, if you are worried that either of you will be forced to view or participate in nude activities when you visit your son, all you have to say is, I think well stay at a nearby hotel, thank you.. One person even called it creepy. I walked out of the room and saw my sister and husband on the couch. An emotionally distant husband may often seem indifferent or indecisive about decisions: Vacation destinations. Loves his sister than with you and the children is unusual I forgot about before... Your back also relates to you their chests and confusion have any questions, please send us a modmail to. 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